Dragonetti Identity

History tells us that Domenico Dragonetti was an Italian double bass virtuoso, a composer, and an acquaintance of Joseph Haydn, the great symphonist.

Recent research, however, indicates that the traditional story about Dragonetti should not be taken at face value.

In all likelihood, Dragonetti was not Italian, but Russian. It is true that Dragonetti was a composer and a bass player, but he may not have been the virtuoso he was described to be.

There is no doubt that he knew Haydn but it has become apparent that Dragonetti was hidin’ something.

Acting on suspicions, forensic musicologists have exhumed the body of Dragonetti and performed DNA tests on his remains. It has been revealed that Dragonetti was not even human! Examination of his bones indicated the presence of tail bones.

The best speculation is that Dragonetti was born in Russia and moved to Italy but feared that he would encounter anti-Russian sentiment so he Italianized his name. Also, in an attempt to avoid prejudice, he adopted “Dragonetti” to obscure the fact that he was not human.

While Dragonetti had a strong interest in music he was not particularly talented so he chose the double bass because he thought he would only need to play a few slow notes. Also, standing at the back of the orchestra with the other bass players enabled him to hide his rather obvious tail.

The inescapable conclusion is that “Dragonetti” was a pseudonym used by Dragon Eddy in an attempt to hide the fact that he was in truth a Russian Dragon.

The following contemporaneous account seems to verify the revisionist viewpoint on the true nature of “Dragonetti”:

A bassist named Eddy (both Russian and dragon):
His timing was off when he drank from the flagon.
At first he was fast,
Then he slowed at the last.
His band was thrown off by his rushin’ and draggin’.


Copyright August 7, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Misunderstanding

Classical musicians have a custom of talking about a piece of music by referring to the composer of the piece. If they are talking about a particular symphony by Beethoven, they might refer to it as “the Beethoven”. If they are talking about a particular overture by Mozart, they might refer to it as “the Mozart. They would say, “We’re playing the Mozart tonight”.

There once was a composer named Dragonetti. He is mainly known for only one piece. It is a composition for string bass. It is a popular audition piece for symphony orchestra positions. Every bass player should know how to play “the Dragonetti”.

A few years ago a newspaper reporter interviewed someone who plays bass in a symphony orchestra. The reporter asked the player how he got started with the orchestra. The player responded that for his audition he played “the Dragonetti”.

The reporter did not know about the practice of referring to a piece by its composer and did not know about Dragonetti. It did not occur to the bass player to explain. In the printed newspaper article the bass player was quoted as saying he played “the Dragon Eddy”!

I began to think there might be an actual Dragon named Eddy. Here are some results of my research:

There once was a dragon named Teddy.
He met a young sweetheart named Betty.
They married when ready.
Their marriage was steady.
Their twins were named Freddy and Eddy.

There once was a dragon named Betty.
Her sons were named Freddy and Eddy.
Their stomachs were needy.
Their appetites greedy.
Their mother cooked tons of her meatball spaghetti!

There once was a dragon named Eddy.
He had a twin brother named Freddy.
They had a wild party.
It was hale. It was hearty.
They had champagne, and chocolate, and sparkle confetti!



Copyright July 19, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises