Dragonetti Identity

History tells us that Domenico Dragonetti was an Italian double bass virtuoso, a composer, and an acquaintance of Joseph Haydn, the great symphonist.

Recent research, however, indicates that the traditional story about Dragonetti should not be taken at face value.

In all likelihood, Dragonetti was not Italian, but Russian. It is true that Dragonetti was a composer and a bass player, but he may not have been the virtuoso he was described to be.

There is no doubt that he knew Haydn but it has become apparent that Dragonetti was hidin’ something.

Acting on suspicions, forensic musicologists have exhumed the body of Dragonetti and performed DNA tests on his remains. It has been revealed that Dragonetti was not even human! Examination of his bones indicated the presence of tail bones.

The best speculation is that Dragonetti was born in Russia and moved to Italy but feared that he would encounter anti-Russian sentiment so he Italianized his name. Also, in an attempt to avoid prejudice, he adopted “Dragonetti” to obscure the fact that he was not human.

While Dragonetti had a strong interest in music he was not particularly talented so he chose the double bass because he thought he would only need to play a few slow notes. Also, standing at the back of the orchestra with the other bass players enabled him to hide his rather obvious tail.

The inescapable conclusion is that “Dragonetti” was a pseudonym used by Dragon Eddy in an attempt to hide the fact that he was in truth a Russian Dragon.

The following contemporaneous account seems to verify the revisionist viewpoint on the true nature of “Dragonetti”:

A bassist named Eddy (both Russian and dragon):
His timing was off when he drank from the flagon.
At first he was fast,
Then he slowed at the last.
His band was thrown off by his rushin’ and draggin’.


Copyright August 7, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises