Yo-Yo Ma

He doesn’t hold back

He doesn’t pace himself

He takes no prisoners

He goes for the throat


Copyright 2009
eMERaLD Effect Enterprises

Three Poems on Poetry

To write a poem
It’s no big chore.
You simply rhyme
Lines two and four.

Some poets give their lines fine rhyme
And place each word in rhythmic time
While others write their poetry
To show no sign of symmetry.

Walt Whitman had no need to rhyme.
He had no use for common time.
His thoughts transcended normal mind.
His spirit leaps beyond his time.


Copyright 2008
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

East and West

by Emerald

Some say the place to be is east,

Some say the west.

From what I’ve tasted of the feast

I hold with those who favor east.

But if it had to pass the test,

I think I know enough of fun

To say that for enjoyment west

Is just the one

And is best.



Fire and Ice

by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice.

From what I’ve tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To say that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.


East and West copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

You'll Never be Calm

You’ll never be calm if you always must hurry.

You’ll never have peace if you always must worry.

You’ll never be cool if you scamper and scurry.

You’ll never have fun if you fly in a flurry.


Copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

No Need

No need to read or write or spell.

Just take a seat and sit a spell.

Look around and hear and smell.

Relax, take time, and you’ll feel swell.


Copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Some Folks

Some folks must always pay their dues.

They mope around and have the blues.

As for me, the worst I feel is mellow.

I live my life in shades of yellow.


Copyright, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

I Get No Spark

I get no spark from champagne.
Clear alcohol
Doesn’t fill me at all,
But I get a sparkle from you.

I don’t swim the lake of Champlain.
Mere waterfall
Never thrills me at all.
My feelings for you aren’t just a whim.

Make no mistake on campaigns.
Political hacks
Are like knives in our backs,
But you’re right for me, no mistake.

I have no need to complain.
I never will worry
Or leave in a hurry,
‘Cause being with you fills my need.


Copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Taking Turns

A man with disease takes a turn for the worse.

A poet of rhyme takes a turn for the verse.

A bird in a storm takes a tern for the worse.

A man at the grill takes a turn for the wurst.


Copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Byte

Never mind a little byte.

Lunch upon a megabyte.

And if your hunger gives you fright,

Munch upon a gigabyte.


Copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

You Sit Down to Eat

You sit down to eat and you shake and you shiver.

You look at your food and you quake and you quiver.

You pick up your spoon

But you fall in a swoon.

Your mother cooked onions and liver!


Copyright, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Guay

I'm a guay

And you’re a guay.

Together we’re

A pair o’ guay.


I’m a guay

And Uruguay.

Together we’re

A Paraguay.


Copyright June 25, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Dragonetti Identity

History tells us that Domenico Dragonetti was an Italian double bass virtuoso, a composer, and an acquaintance of Joseph Haydn, the great symphonist.

Recent research, however, indicates that the traditional story about Dragonetti should not be taken at face value.

In all likelihood, Dragonetti was not Italian, but Russian. It is true that Dragonetti was a composer and a bass player, but he may not have been the virtuoso he was described to be.

There is no doubt that he knew Haydn but it has become apparent that Dragonetti was hidin’ something.

Acting on suspicions, forensic musicologists have exhumed the body of Dragonetti and performed DNA tests on his remains. It has been revealed that Dragonetti was not even human! Examination of his bones indicated the presence of tail bones.

The best speculation is that Dragonetti was born in Russia and moved to Italy but feared that he would encounter anti-Russian sentiment so he Italianized his name. Also, in an attempt to avoid prejudice, he adopted “Dragonetti” to obscure the fact that he was not human.

While Dragonetti had a strong interest in music he was not particularly talented so he chose the double bass because he thought he would only need to play a few slow notes. Also, standing at the back of the orchestra with the other bass players enabled him to hide his rather obvious tail.

The inescapable conclusion is that “Dragonetti” was a pseudonym used by Dragon Eddy in an attempt to hide the fact that he was in truth a Russian Dragon.

The following contemporaneous account seems to verify the revisionist viewpoint on the true nature of “Dragonetti”:

A bassist named Eddy (both Russian and dragon):
His timing was off when he drank from the flagon.
At first he was fast,
Then he slowed at the last.
His band was thrown off by his rushin’ and draggin’.


Copyright August 7, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Misunderstanding

Classical musicians have a custom of talking about a piece of music by referring to the composer of the piece. If they are talking about a particular symphony by Beethoven, they might refer to it as “the Beethoven”. If they are talking about a particular overture by Mozart, they might refer to it as “the Mozart. They would say, “We’re playing the Mozart tonight”.

There once was a composer named Dragonetti. He is mainly known for only one piece. It is a composition for string bass. It is a popular audition piece for symphony orchestra positions. Every bass player should know how to play “the Dragonetti”.

A few years ago a newspaper reporter interviewed someone who plays bass in a symphony orchestra. The reporter asked the player how he got started with the orchestra. The player responded that for his audition he played “the Dragonetti”.

The reporter did not know about the practice of referring to a piece by its composer and did not know about Dragonetti. It did not occur to the bass player to explain. In the printed newspaper article the bass player was quoted as saying he played “the Dragon Eddy”!

I began to think there might be an actual Dragon named Eddy. Here are some results of my research:

There once was a dragon named Teddy.
He met a young sweetheart named Betty.
They married when ready.
Their marriage was steady.
Their twins were named Freddy and Eddy.

There once was a dragon named Betty.
Her sons were named Freddy and Eddy.
Their stomachs were needy.
Their appetites greedy.
Their mother cooked tons of her meatball spaghetti!

There once was a dragon named Eddy.
He had a twin brother named Freddy.
They had a wild party.
It was hale. It was hearty.
They had champagne, and chocolate, and sparkle confetti!



Copyright July 19, 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises

Ode to an Odor

Do not leave your food in sink.
It really makes a nasty stink.
Do not leave one little scrap.
It makes the kitchen smell like crap.

Rotten veggies, lettuce, rice:
They all attract a horde of mice
And roaches, ants, and crawling things...
Don’t be surprised if you get lice.

When left to rot your food grows old.
It makes a stench that’s very bold.
So clean the mess, avoid the stress
Of being overcome by mold!

Help to keep the kitchen clean
And save the world from turning green!


Copyright 2009
eMeRaLD Effect Enterprises