A Unified Field Theory

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:

“In physics, a unified field theory is a type of field theory that allows all that is usually thought of as fundamental forces and elementary particles to be written in terms of a single field. There is no accepted unified field theory. It remains an open line of research. The term was coined by Einstein who attempted to unify the general theory of relativity with electromagnetism, hoping to recover an approximation for quantum theory. A "theory of everything" is closely related to unified field theory, but differs by not requiring the basis of nature to be fields, and also attempts to explain all physical constants of nature.”

For many years I have also striven to discover the unified field theory and now I have discovered it at last.

The Pauli exclusion principle is a quantum mechanical principle proposed by the Austrian physicist Wolfgang Pauli in 1925. The Pauli exlusion principle, if I understand it correctly, can be summarized as follows “When in doubt, leave it out”.

In 1927 Werner Heisenberg published the uncertainty principle of quantum physics which he formulated in Niels Bohr's institute at Copenhagen while working on the mathematical foundations of quantum mechanics. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle, if I understand it correctly, can be summarized as follows: “If you don’t know what to do then do nothing” or is it “If you don’t know what to do then do something even if it is wrong”? I don’t know which it is. I am uncertain.

The forgiveness principle is of unknown origin and, if I understand it correctly, can be summarized as follows: “It is better to beg forgiveness than it is to ask permission”.

Finally, the pleasure principle is a psychoanalytic concept originated by Sigmund Freud. The pleasure principle, if I understand it correctly, can be summarized as follows: “If it feels good then do it”.

Here’s how the principles are unified: the exclusion principle gets you to first base, the uncertainty principle gets you to second base, the forgiveness principle gets you to third base and then the pleasure principle gets you home free.

So there you have it: the unified baseball field theory!


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